World Jetsprint Championship - a day in the life

I’ll confess that I was just a little nervous when the editor informed me that I was to be strapped into a V8 superboat at the 2009 World Jetsprint Championship, held in the outer Melbourne suburb of Melton.

The fastest waterborne vehicle I’d travelled on to date was a skiboat packing a mere 343hp, and the idea of hopping into something with three times the power and only half the weight, and then belting around a water circuit dotted with hazardous “islands” seemed… a little nerve wracking to me.

I’d been invited by Colin Rosewarne to spend a day with his TASER X3 team, one of several small teams competing on a shoestring budget at the top level. Colin tells me that everyone on the team has a day job, and that they’ll be racing against Australian and New Zealand teams with big budgets and major sponsors. “We just have to out-think and out-race them,” he tells me.

The navigator and engine-builder is a guy called Clayton Millington, who owns a mechanic shop, while Colin is the team manager and an accredited TASER trainer.

The boat name comes from TASER International’s latest product, a semi-automatic weapon capable of incapacitating up to three separate opponents, and by far the most bad-ass sponsor anyone we've seen on a trailerable vessel.

I’m also told that the pilot is Richard Burt, the NZ 2009 Unlimited superboat champion, who is also a funeral director in Palmerston North.

She weighs around 600kg and can accelerate from 0 to 100kmh in just two seconds. I’m warned that she can pull five or six Gs on hard corners, and her jet propulsion system pumps out 26,000 to 28,000lt of water per minute, during which time she burns through as much as 20lt of methanol fuel.

And so the day begins, first with the heats for the smaller classes. They’re noisy and fast. Really bloody fast. Yet they turn on astonishingly sharp corners, almost on the spot, kicking up huge swells. Colin then explains that the rules had been changed recently. “They’re just idling round the track right now, because if you go the wrong way you get disqualified,” he says.

“Are you telling me they’re going slow?” I ask in disbelief. “Oh yes,” he says. “Painfully slow.”

Eventually, it’s TASER X3’s turn. The engine roars, waves splash, she’s off to a good start, and then she promptly flies out of the water and comes to rest on the centre island. We find out later that too much fuel got burnt, because she idled for too long, so off she goes for a refuel and a cleanup. I’m told this is a common sight in this sport, but when she’s lowered into the water for the next round there’s a problem with the ignition.

The team tries everything, but it just won’t fire, and so a decision is made to rush her back to Clayton’s workshop and replace the ignition over the next hour or three. Colin tells me they’re fighting the clock because TASER X3 needs to complete a run if there’s to be any chance of winning in tomorrow’s finals.

They do it, right at the last moment in fact, and as she takes off for one last crack it’s looking like it’ll be an excellent run. But as Richard pilots her a third of the way in, the engine sputters, and she slows down. “What is it this time,” groans Colin, as TASER X3 limps back to the ramp. We find out later that it’s fuel-injection.

THE RAP
It was an especially unlucky day for the guys, who put their heart, soul, and a considerable cash investment on the line, but all that remained was to fix up the boat for day two and compete “for honour” rather than a winning spot.

It had been a gruelling day, fraught with drama and a fair share of danger. Various boats had landed on embankments, and one even fell on and trapped a track marshal. Yet despite the adversity and disappointment (not to mention the periodic rain), the TASER X3 boys held their heads high and remained professional at all times - they just had some really rotten luck.

Jetsprint V8 superboat racing is, after all, a sport where (to use an old cliché) anything can and often does happen, and as it turned out, the next day’s final was won by “Jetsprint King” Peter Caughey, with his two closest opponents landing on embankments.

Yet as I donned a fire-retardant outfit for a lap around the track (kindly arranged by Tunna Guts pilot Robert Colman from Mildura) I couldn’t help but wonder what it was about this sport. Sure it’s exciting, yes, but how can it be worth the sacrifice, danger, and the hefty financial commitment? It’s not like there’s a significant prize pool either...

Then Tunna Guts took off and 50 seconds later, pulse racing as if I’d been shocked by one of Colin’s weapons, it finally made sense.

There’s fast. There’s really bloody fast. And then there’s bum-clenchingly, heart-thumpingly, dear-God-what-was-that fast. There are words that still need to be invented to describe what it’s like. You can visit V8superboats.com.au to find out more about this sport. You can also email Colin at pigdogracing@bigpond.com.