The coolest marine-based April Fool's jokes of 2023

April Fool's Day has come and gone, and once again the wags in the marine industry have had a field day with announcements that have challenged credibility.

We've had a scratch round to find the best of them, presented to you here in one compact package that you'll definitely need to take with a grain of salt.

Mercury Marine had two bites at the April Fool's cherry this year.

The first was from the US, whacking a Pro XS logo on its Mercury V12 Verado and promising prospective bass boat owners they could get to the fish “ridiculously fast”.

“What does it feel like to strap 600 horses to the back of a bass boat? In a word … unbelievable! 

“Introducing the biggest thing in bass fishing since forward-facing sonar - the brand-new Mercury V12 600hp Pro XS outboard. 

“It's performance-tuned to get you and your bass boat to the best schools (all of them) and back to weigh in before the competition has even finished its morning coffee.”

The second was the announcement of the Avator 50R by Mercury’s French division.

“To mark the 50th anniversary of its Racing division, Mercury is launching a brand new model: the R50 Avator; a limited edition that allows you to power your fishing boat at 50 knots for 50 minutes thanks to a 50 megawatts battery,” it said.

Over at Yamaha, the fun was all about introducing a new two-speed outboard engine for the days you need to go quick, and the others where you just needed to go slow.

Yamaha’s Australian team issued a release of a “new variable-set horse power” outboard engine.

“All new to Yamaha, the Variable Extreme Set Horse Power system,” it said, adding that the new 25hp or 50hp outboard would deliver “unmatched power to your small boat”.

“Simply select your chosen Horse Power and let the internal outboard tuning do its Job and switch your boating experience to the Extreme level,” it said.

Suzuki Marine’s UK division doesn’t often pass up the opportunity to have a laugh, this year introducing the new Barista range of outboard engines designed to froth up milk for coffee.

Meanwhile, Queensland Police poked a bit of fun at itself, announcing it would introduce a new fleet of mounted police patrols – using paddleboards.

“Today we launch our Stand Up Paddleboard Squad,” it announced in an official-looking statement posted on social media.

“They will be cracking down on reckless behaviours on our pristine waterways. If you see them, chuck a shakkas and say 'sup!”

The NSW SES weighed in, saying that it would expand its annual "Wear Orange Day" held to recognise the contributions of its volunteers by rolling out a new PR stunt; dying the waters of Sydney Harbour orange.

Geelong-based passenger and vehicle ferry service the Spirit of Tasmania also turned the joke on itself, announcing a new submarine service running alongside its boat-based service that has sometimes attracted the nickname the “vomit comet” due to the occasional rough passage across the notorious Bass Strait.

“Prepare to experience Bass Strait as no spirited traveller has before,” it said announcing the “new” service. 

“Introducing the Spirit VI submarine - our first underwater ferry!  A sleek exterior is matched by state-of-the-art design, features and facilities.”

The social media post said the other benefits of the trip below the waves included no sea breeze or views from the deck. However, it does promise an “unforgettable journey”.

“Strap yourself in for the ferry experience of the future, taking innovation to new depths.”

Earning a special commendation is Daiwa Australia, which pulled the wraps off a new travel rod that breaks down into 16 separate pieces.

“Introducing the latest addition to our Wilderness range, a 16 PIECE EXTRA-COMPACT travel rod!” it announced.

“Packed with a tonne of Daiwa technology like HVF Nanoplus, V-Joint Alpha, X45, Fuji Alconite guides and an exclusive Daiwa reel seat!

“If you're looking to travel this year and are in dire need of a rod, look no further than the new EXTRA-COMPACT model in the WILDERNESS range where you could even pack it into your own pocket measuring at only 20cm!”

The Boat Works on the Gold Coast also jumped on board for the day, announcing a 520hp custom-built haul-out vehicle affectionately nicknamed “The Beast”.

“The V8 prototype was built to enhance the service at the region’s most technically advanced boat yard, manoeuvring vessels efficiently around the yard,” The Boat works said in a statement.

According to The Boat Works, The Beast uses a big block Chevrolet 454 cubic-inch engine attached to a hydrostatic gearbox – technology normally found in drag cars.

“I know the capability and power from racing V8 Supercars myself, so I thought why not enhance our lifting capabilities to meet the demand of boats and put 520 horsepower to work to get the job done,” The Boat Works owner Tony Longhurst said.

“We’re taking shipyard service to the next level. We’re ready for anything at The Boat Works!”

And in something that we're not sure is a joke, online dating app Tinder announced over the weekend that it would modify its policies to ban people from posing with a fish in their profile images.

"For those (blissfully) unaware, a 'Fish Pic' is the puzzling phenomenon where singles add photos to their dating profile posing with a fish they’ve caught," it said in an obvious reference to a quite different and less savoury profile pic trend.

"A recent Tinder study revealed 92 per cent of singles reported 'getting the ick' after coming across a potential match’s fish pic."

"Effective immediately, Tinder will start removing all photos of members holding sea creatures big and small.

"All fish-related content is expected to be removed within 24 hours, making Tinder the first dating app in history to be 'fish free', because let’s face it - no one looks good holding a slimy fish."

We 100 per cent agree.