Following a month that was anything but smooth sailing in Australian politics, a failed mutiny and a bunch of rats deserting the leaky HMAS Canberra comes whispers from the nation's engine room that a luxury boat tax is on the horizon.
No-one with a waterborne conveyance or craft will be immune from the tax. "Conspicuous consumption has no place in Australia today," a Labor Party official was overheard chanting in the halls of Federal Parliament on April Fool's Day.
The luxury boat tax will be levied at 10 per cent of the value of all new and used craft over a 10-year period. Those with, say, a $5000 tinnie will pay $500 over 10 years or $50 a year, while those with motoryacht worth $2 million will pay $200,000 over 10 years or $20,000 per annum.
James Packer's new boat Sea Horse, pictured on Sydney Harbour this year, cost $50 million. But the casino tycoon will also be subjected to a new category of carbon-positive boating tax for carrying more than 100,000 litres of fuel.
In case you need to fill up, the boat carries 106,000 litres for a 5470nm range. Save your shopper dockets.
Waterside workers and employees from the Maritime Union will be able to apply for special dispensation from the luxury boat tax during their monthly meetings at their local Golden Opportunity Chinese restaurant.
"But for every other Australian boat owner there’s no escaping the tax," unreliable sources told us today (April 1). "They [federal politicians] believe we have to stop the boat people." (This was an April Fool's Day joke).